The following is an essay that I wrote as apart of my Flinn Scholarship Application. The prompt was to describe a time when I said something or did something and what the costs and rewards of that were.
Every Tuesday, when I set foot into my religious education classroom in elementary school, I played the part of the perfect little Catholic girl, fulfilling my duty of being a role model in my faith. In reality, I was struggling with my beliefs, and doubt was taking over. I felt obligated to uphold this reputation of being a "model Catholic" that I feared speaking out and instead kept to myself. This only fed my doubts and they grew as I progressed into the middle school program. I wanted to reach out to my parents and tell them my relationship with God was weak but I didn't want them to be disappointed in me for questioning what was supposed to be my foundation for life. Eventually, I broke and I approached them with my feelings and opened up about how I felt lost in my religion. I was relieved when they responded with their own uncertainties and then we had a long constructive discussion. I learned two things that day, my parent's love for me goes beyond any doubts I may have, and questioning the world around me is essential to moving forward. I always assumed I needed to color inside the lines to be a good person and to do good things, but I am also encouraged to challenge what I am given and what I am taught. Then through those conversations, I can see progress and I can become that good person who does good things. Since that day, my parents and I have had countless discussions, just like the first, breaking down our thoughts and ideas, and this consistent exchange between us has aided me in creating fuller relationships with the world around me.