There are two pieces of college advice that I would recommend anyone listen to above everything else: don’t bring any t-shirts and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.
For that first one, I can testify that I have gotten around 13 new t-shirts within the first two weeks of school. You really do not need to bring a single t-shirt as they will fill up one of the precious dressers drawers the university has given you to use. So save yourself the folding and just leave your soccer tournament t-shirt from 2019 at home.
The second piece of advice is layered but has the same end meaning. The first week of college, hell, the first couple of weeks are a little painful. I felt extremely alone and isolated as I tried to form bonds with the other first year students that surrounded me. The worst part is that you know everyone feels the exact same way. Everyone has the sting of loneliness on their skin and hides it incredibly well. Paper thin walls remind you that you’re alone in your dorm as laughter rings between them. The sounds of people getting along and getting to know each other burn themselves into the back of your mind as you struggle to maintain connection with the person you met in the elevator two days ago. You do everything everyone tells you to do, you eat in public spaces and you ask everyone for their snap and you reach out, but it feels so forced and it feels so superficial. Like you are carving friendships into diamond and the pick just keeps snapping the second you feel like you’ve made any progress.
I met a group of people in my major and they all appeared to know each other for years as they talked and joked with one another. I felt so out of place and yet like I had found people. I haven’t spoken to most of them since that one day they invited me to play cards. Maybe I should’ve put in more effort, is it too late? I can’t tell anymore.
I have always been secure in doing things alone, but I was never really surrounded by people who were always with someone, doing something, to make me feel like I was actually missing out. I’ve never felt the pressure to socialize until now and it pains me a little more than I care to admit. But I digress. I am fighting the need to show off my good time when I get the chance to have one and I am learning to find peace in my solitude again. I never thought I’d have to do that but nothing is ever as simple as that.
At least I have 13 new t-shirts to fold to occupy my time.