There are some things in life that we would give anything to do, to see, to have. They overrun our thoughts every day, every night. They completely consume us. We wish on every star, every eyelash, every 11:11 on the clock that maybe, just maybe, we will have a chance.
Tomorrow elections for student council go live at my school. For the past three years, I have given my all to student council and it’s been a major part of my life. It changed me completely. I went from someone who was scared and uncertain about what she had to offer to someone who now is proud of whatever she does no matter what happens. Yet I’m terrified right now. I’ve always gotten nervous before Election Day. The build-up of uncertainty and anxiety starts to overflow. But this time, it’s different. The anxiety is paralyzing, exhausting, uncontainable.
It seems silly to get so worked up over a high school election. I keep telling myself that. I know that at the end of the day I’ll be okay no matter what, I’ll still be who I am and I’ll still be proud of what I’ve done. But at the same time, I can’t help but think, what if I won’t. What if I can’t get up again, what if I lose all that I’ve worked to accomplish, what if I sink so low I drown?
Again, it seems silly, I know. I feel like I’m being overdramatic, placing more weight on this than there needs to be. You could say I’m wasting my wishes on something that won’t even seem to matter in 5 or 10 years. Maybe I am, but they are wishes that I want nonetheless.